There are many views on this subject. I am in no way an expert on this other than being an older divorced single person.  Unfortunately, us guys have mixed signals from both society and women in general.  It has been taught in society for years that the roles can be reversed anytime it's convenient but then it does not really work after all.  Us guys are sometimes as confused as you.  Males are wired to be hunters but (in todays society) not always raised that way through the teachings of society.  

Call me old fashion but where is the hunter?  Usually the male, if he is secure (you deserve a secure man) and interested will approach you but we sometimes we need to see a little interest on your part (fear of rejection guess).  At best this is done in a group setting as you get to know the person - I suggest you get to know the person before going with them anywhere outside a group.  This show of interest needs to be slight not hitting us over the head even though sometimes it seems like we need it.  Give him the time.

Let the MAN do the asking.  If he doesn't he's got some growing up to do, we're not at the school dance standing against the wall, we're in a pursuit of a mate.  Hunting for our life companion.

8) Don't fear - God will bless you if you’re faithful.  The ones in the church or outside that have been "waiting" for years usually are not doing the right things to attract a man.  For a lady like yourself to "panic" or show you’re the boss of the relationship out the door and you'll run the hunt is often a turn off (role reversal).  As a real man - we want to honor and cherish our lover and not have them running the hunt.

Working your call to ministry will attract the right person with the right motive and with something in common.  Hang in there and focus on God's work.  Not always easy but it works.

Hi,

I can identify with your struggle...and thouhgt I'd share what I've learnt

I used to think that waiting on God was a passive persuit, hoping and praying that God's will be done in my life. I still desire God's will above all else, and am commited to waiting for the right man. However I see now that waiting on God doesn't mean I do nothing for myself, and still expect an outcome. Similarly, I believe that we have a role to play in seeking a marriage partner.

I have recently discovered part of being created in the image of God and with a free will, means God wants me to use it...my choices may honor him or dishonor him. Thankfully God's word tells us what pleases him and what does not!

I find it helpful to think of Christ woeing his bride as an example of the marriage relationship. After all, the Bible does make that comparison.

I am happy to let the guy be the man and pursiew me, in order to win my love. (...and may that continue though the entire life of the relationship) But I am also on the look out for marriageable material, and believe in being available without selling myself short.

Should I find what I'd like in a guy, it is only reasonable that I communicate my desire to know him more. This can be done in a suble way that still allows him to make the first real move.

Talk to God about this too, he knows the desires of your heart. If your desire is a rightoes one, then it will have his backing.

[quote author=Forum Admin  link=1137161755/0#4 date=1161980868]In the Bible, I don't see women making the first move.  (Please respond if you know of an example.)  Granted, the culture was much different, but I believe we still need to look to God's Word for insight.  

Forums Admin [/quote]

I don't think this is actually a situation in which we should only do as the Bible does.

As a single man approached by a lady, I would first of all be surprised, then flattered.  Depending on how long I had known her would determine my response.

If it were the first time we had met, then I would be down the road as fast as my legs would carry me.

If I had known her for years, then I would ask, first myself and then her, "Why" (or something of the sort.)

I am, in reallity, not 'Looking' but am not adverse to some type of relationship in the future.

In short, I don't think it matters who makes the first move but once made it should not be rushed but time taken to build up a proper relationship with
God's guidance.

Go where the guys are. We have a lot of single christian guys playing on church softball teams (it's a good way to see how they handle competition). Go to christian concerts. The point is go out and have fun. A christian guy will find you more approachable if you look like you are enjoying yourself.
I think it is fine if you initiate friendly conversation, it shows a guy that you are open to communicating. You never know where a friendship might be hiding. Let the guy initiate if he wants anything further to develop, but screen him carefully.

I don't think there's a problem with the girl making the first move - at least in terms of going up to the guy after church or in a singles group and saying hi and breaking the ice. There are a lot of great guys out there who are just too shy (which doesn't mean lacking confidence) at the outset to break the ice. I met my best friend (we dated but we decided it wasn't going to work) only because she made the first move - and asked me for my e-mail.

I wish a young lady in church would come up to me and be friendly and let me know that she would like to get to know me better. That would make my day . . . otherwise, how do I know that she's not seeing someone, or that she's uninterested?

That said, there's a difference between breaking the ice and deciding to go steady. Once you expressed your interest it's probably best to let the guy pursue you beyond that.

Definitely. Probably that is the `when u really expect nothing happens, and when u don`t really care, something comes up` kind of scenario...as Simon said, when you just don`t take it that seriously and have time to actually be your joyful self, things may come to you, what you didn`t expect.  ;)
..But that is true, that if things come to us, we all need to play role in that happy situation. And as we are all different, I think can`t be betrayed as men and women.  As for me, I would probably not make the very first move when it comes to man, but hey, never say never. 8-)